I'll Love You More Tomorrow

When I watched my grandfather die several years ago, it forever changed my life. Even though I knew it was coming, I ignored the possibility. My sister called me at school one morning to say we needed to leave-immediately. Gandad had taken a turn for the worse. I remember bursting into tears and sliding down the wall in the school office listening to my sister trying to talk through her tears and share the urgent news. It took ten hours of hard driving between my three sisters and me, but we made it. Walking through the door of his hospital room and running to his bedside brought tremendous relief. He opened his eyes and said he loved us, then went back to sleep never to wake again. For three days my family lived in his hospital room-eleven of us taking turns sitting at his bedside holding his hand. I watched his body come up off his bed with every single breath. As the doctor came in and out of his room, he gave us hope every time saying, "Wow! I can't believe he's hanging in there. He's a strong man." It was a false hope. He took his last breath about 7:00 am on a Saturday morning. We were all standing around his bed, holding hands and praying for him. At the time, I was so greatful to be with him through his last moments of life. I didn't realize the haunting effect it would have on me. Five years later, I am writing about it for the first time. I am still not strong enough to talk about it with my family and may not ever. I wrote a poem about him today. I enjoyed taking a memory walk through my life with him. The healing power of writing is amazing.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you held me tight today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you sang sweet songs to me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you tickled and we giggled today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you napped with me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you taught me to ride a bike today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you took me fishing today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you screamed and cheered for me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you laughed with me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you played cards with me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you talked to me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you asked for my help today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you listened to me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you celebrated my accomplishments today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you said goodbye to me today.

I’ll love you more tomorrow
Because you’ve loved me every day.